Was my family disadvantaged? Sure. What family straight out of Nam wasn’t in the 80’s? Thousands of Vietnamese families began/started over in the U.S.; some families broke down under pressure in a new country and others flourish.
My family did well because my parents took what they could and worked very hard. But I think a lot of our success comes from my mother being super thrifty and showing no shame for bargaining. Coupons, mail-in rebates, flea markets, discount outlets are my childhood. Literally. I remember being bored to tears at the outlet malls in Chicago. I went to the flea market every Sunday with my mother. Once I stayed at home with my father and brother and felt extremely anxious that I was missing out on something.
My mother’s prudence has rubbed off on me somewhat (somewhat). As sophomore year of high school ended, all I could think was that my high school experience was halfway over. Had I taken advantage enough of my teen years to have something to show later? That transition was a big part of my growing up. I wanted to mature and change, to do something radical that is so not me. Physical activity! Little nerdy Sansan didn’t do anything physical. So I decided to join a sports team. I joined the cross-country team. Yeah I don’t look like a runner :\ but I am proud to say I did cross-country in high school. Because….it’s the cheapest! I knew there was no way my mother would pay for tennis lessons.
All I needed was a pair of shoes. My aunt took me to Payless where I bought a pair of tennis-looking shoes. After practicing with the team a few times and already had a meet under my belt, the girls asked me “Where the hell did you get those shoes? They’re killing your feet!” Yeah…don’t worry about it. Inevitably I had to get a decent pair of running shoes.
I timed the right moment and the right speech to ask my mom for the $60 pair of Asics. I went to her room while she was still in bed and asked for some money to pay for the shoes. I would chip in for the rest. She said no. I cried silently in my room. Then she gave the full $60.
I still have and use the same pair of Asics. A lady once told me she runs and changes her shoes every few months because it’s good for your posture. Ridiculous! Running is great across all countries because it’s cheap and easy to do. You learn about your strengths and endurance. It was one of the toughest times in my life, but I don’t have any regrets for the shin splints, the swollen ankles, the bloody blisters, nor being the slowest person on the team. And I have the Good Sportsmanship trophy to prove it!
Don’t live simply.
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